How Communication Style Impacts the Cost of Divorce
Picking up on the theme of my last post, when a divorce takes seven years and costs $150,000, clearly these people can't communicate. It is also safe to assume that they are in an adversarial process that exacerbates their communication challenges. In traditional litigation, the attorneys don't want the parties to talk to each other for fear of weakening their bargaining position. If a couple is in court expecting a judge to make the decisions, the couple has automatically added to the cost, time, and frustration level of the divorce.
If a couple decides to try to work things out on their own or with the help of collaborative attorneys, the only way to reach resolution is to communicate. I have seen many collaborative divorces where the parties could reach agreement on the majority of the terms, but came to a standstill on a couple of final decision points. Typically, they had not been able to communicate about these issues as a married couple. This same challenging topic now stalls their divorce. The collaborative team approach helps people develop the communication skills necessary tocomplete their divorce. If there are trust issues, the collaborative team approach can also help the party come to terms with events so that decisions can be made and the divorce process can move foreward in a constructive manner.
As an aside here, I am obviously an advocate of using the Collaborative Practice model and have dedicated my law practice to it. But I also acknowledge that sometimes the court system and an outside decision maker (i.e., a judge) is necessary. If the major breadwinner owns his/her own business and the collaborative professionals fear fraud, the court system protects the less-informed spouse. If physical violence has taken place and orders of protection are needed, the legal system can help. While the divorce will cost more, it is necessary for everyone's best interest.
Hopefully that helps explain why a divorce costs what it does. What other factors have you found play into the cost? What has been your experience? I'd love to hear from you on this topic.