A recent thread on the CollabLaw listServe had me revisiting this topic. One professional had asked for help with a divorce case in which one of the spouses had requested, in the middle of the process, that the attorneys and mhps stop giving the financial professional any information about his/her "emotional state". One post suggested there might be more to do than simply decide whether it's "okay" or not to stop sharing....that there might be something going on for that client and that it might be helpful to ask him/her about it. I added the following thoughts:

This is my first blog for the year. It is summer Downunder and I enjoyed a nice holiday. But that is a fading memory and the reality of work has returned. And so has the need to keep up with my blog entries. In coming entries I plan to review some of the latest publications relating to therapeutic jurisprudence. Here is my first effort:

People enmeshed in divorce tend to think that they should hire the most aggressive divorce attorney they can afford. Some lawyers market themselves to respond to such values and this impulse. They advertise their practices as "aggressive advocates" or "aggressive divorce lawyers" "or "aggressive family law advocates."

If you look at their websites they often also describe themselves as offering "compassionate representation" or "charitable divorce help." Which is it? Having it both ways is unlikely.

Andrea Schneider made a particularly interesting post for those of us who started the New Year with weight loss resolutions. Read how our willpower and reasoning ability affected by having a lot to remember:

http://www.indisputably.org/?p=909

One of the cornerstone skills of a lawyer is supposed to be the ability to compartmentalize one's inner world. To set aside personal feelings and beliefs and work completely and only rationally on a client's matters.

Boulder Lawyer Beth Klein helped 200 children get out of Haiti and to American families. Previously, she has worked to rescue women and children from slavery in Cambodia. Here is a story about Beth:

http://www.dailycamera.com/news/ci_14266666

Excerpt: Hundreds of Haitian orphans who were in the process of being adopted by Americans have been evacuated out of the earthquake-devastated nation and united with their new families, thanks, in large part, to a Boulder attorney.

A few weeks ago I conducted a mediation involving a post divorce matter. The husband owned his own business and had done quite well. The wife had some employment, however, she had obviously fallen on difficult times and the child originally living with her had gone to the husband's custody.

BADER CONFLICT RESOLUTION SERVICES PRESENTS

Self, Identity and the IDR Cycle: Going Deeper

San Francisco, January 29, 2010
With Elizabeth E. Bader, Esq.

Author, The Psychology of Mediation: Issues of Self and Identity
and the IDR Cycle, 10 PEPPERDINE DISPUTE RES. L. J. (2010); For
a review copy, see www.elizabethbader.com/SelfandIdentity.pdf

This program is an exploration of a profound issue in conflict

This is a playlist of 4 videos from our interview at the international restorative justice conference in San Antonio in May, 2009.

The emotional benefits of mindfulness in divorce will not only save and protect you, they will resonant far into the future and save and protect everyone with whom you come in contact - including not just your children (the best reason), but everyone else you meet.

Relationships arise and they disintegrate, just like birth and decay. It would be wonderful if no one divorced, but it would be better if we could all be more mindful when we marry in the first place. Or remarry for that matter.

Financial benefits may be the most immediate but also the least obvious result of a mindfulness practice! In fact no "practice" is required. Mindfulness just challenges us not to go unconscious.

http://www.mediate.com/articles/MediateAward.cfm

Excerpt:

The 2010 American Bar Association (ABA) Lawyer as Problem Solver Award is being presented to Mediate.com as the institutional recipient and Bennett Picker and Andrew Schepard as individual recipients. The award presentation will be on April 9th at the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution Awards Dinner in San Francisco.

Editor's Note:

This award is well-deserved. Congratulations to Jim Melamed!

Here a link to a Smart Talk radio interview on January 13, 2010, with Author Ellen Kellner and Collaborative Attorney Thurman Arnold discussing her new book, "The Pro-Child Way: Parenting with an Ex" within the context of collaborative process and divorce.

The link might be useful to pass on to highly reactive individuals suffering custody and visitation issues, and could also be helpful audio to listen to for people who are considering learning about CP, or who may wish to give their spouse or partner something to aid in their investigation of this alternative.

Greetings:

I am a family law and divorce attorney in Palm Springs, California, and a Masters student of Family Life Education at Loma Linda University. I bumped into Ms. Kellner’s book while investigating resources to support parents involved in custody disputes, in order to help my own clients to make choices that facilitate their childrens’ best interests rather than playing out the natural reactivity of the competing agendas of many divorcing couples.